Among many ambitions and goals for my life, from the first moments I can remember, I identified with—and desired to be—a mother. This nurturing force inside of me materialized at a young age in my fondness for animals and dolls, and with the people around me who I wanted to make feel seen and cared for. Mothering felt less like something I wanted to become, and more something I already was. In 2016, this dream came to outward fruition with the birth of my beautiful son. Motherhood cracked me and my heart wide open. Many pieces of myself came together. 

Soon after, I found myself navigating unanticipated loss in my life—loss that, in many ways, fractured this identity of mother that I held so tenderly and intimately. These losses cracked my heart further open. I felt compelled to confront the grief head on, but the choice to move through it did not yield the results I yearned for; instead I was stuck in the story of what I thought it meant and laser focused on the unfulfilled desires I could not bring to life. 

Ultimately, through a lot of resistance, and finally a lot of work and commitment, I was able to access my core, unstoried self. This connection helped me come to terms with the fact that even though my life looked a lot different than I had anticipated, this indelible sense of my soul was unalterable. Attaching myself to this deep knowing—and not the stories around the circumstances— placed me so unshakably at the center of my own being that nothing could shift or move it. I could hold grief in one hand, but in the other was a sense of overwhelming purpose that felt more alive than ever. It opened me up to all the light I could not previously see. 

The work of Motherwild is the culmination of my own personal process of stepping into my wholeness, and thus into my power; it is the reconnection to my true self and the profound interconnectedness this core connection to self brings forth. It is understanding that my own inner North Star is a constant and immovable truth. It’s about surrender, trusting the process, showing up for ourselves day after day, and ultimately, showing up for others with our whole selves. For me, this is where all hope and abundance lies.